I have to confess that I haven't posted in awhile because I feel like there is no news. Then I was talking to Space tonight and got convicted because there is stuff happening just not what I "think" you want to hear...lay down your pride Amber. I must admit I have missed blogging about 'real' things...so here we go.
I am currently living at home in AL. I am working part time at my old job just helping them with qualifying the database and some bookkeeping things. I had an opportunity to take a job in TX but turned it down. So that's kind of the rundown of where I have been and what I have been doing for the past couple of months.
Space and I were talking about the 'holding pattern' that I am in right now and how there are things to be learned during this. Its like I know that but it didn't start to sink in until probably last week. I don't know if you have seen the movie Definitely Maybe but the main guy in it moves to NY to work for Clinton and in his old job he wrote speeches for a local Senator and such. So when he is in NY stapling signs or delivering toilet paper to the bathroom he screams WHAT AM I DOING. I have had that thought a lot over the past couple of weeks. Then I was reading someones blog and they were describing how humble this man was and I thought I know that's what I should be learning but....WAIT yes that is exactly what I should be learning. It hit me that why do I think I am above qualifying a database or calling a person for being past due on their bill...what makes me better than that?
I was also listening to Wess Stafford, pres. of Compassion International, speak last week and he was talking about how this earth is not our home so don't settle in so much. That may not say much to you but it spoke volumes to me, something about it hit my soul. I have really struggled with settling in and just being lazy since I have been back. I hate that...why is it so hard to be back in the states? You have to be so intentional about listening and making time and not just filling your time with things that are 'appealing' and 'easy'.
I know the 'holding pattern' is intentional. It is extremely hard for me because of how I learned things in Africa is totally different from how I am learning them here. This is where faith really steps in and I have to remember where He has brought me and where He is taking me.