I've had quite the emotional and unexpected journey since I wrote you last. I didn't mention it in my last post because well honestly I didn't think it was that big of a deal but since about September I've been dealing with a stress fracture that I got in my foot. I've been in a boot all this time and have been on and off crutches for quite some time. The reality is my foot is just not healing. All this time I have had this weird feeling that something is just not right...for someone that is really taking care of their injury it should heal in about 6 wks., its been about 6 months. So I was sitting with my doctors last Thursday and they said you know this can't be what it is but lets get your bone density checked for osteoporosis. We are all thinking you know that would be crazy, thats what older women have why would a 27 yr. old have it. Well I received the call from one of my docs on Monday that I did have it, he was obviously as shocked as I was. So now we wait...it could take a couple of months for me to even get in to see an Endocrinologist. I am going to go to our family doc just to get some test run so that I am doing all I can do right now until I can see the endocrinologist. This is not the end of the world but it is definitely something that I need prayer for as I walk through. I mean if I had not had the fracture how would I have known. It could be too that after we get the lab work done that we figure out it is actually something else.

It has been extremely hard to be in this holding pattern for the past couple of months. To know that no one really understands the struggles I've had and how this has affected me. My mom and I sat down and did the Lords Supper tonight and she spoke truth over me. The Lord had been leading her to Jer. 29:11. The funny thing is the entire time I was in Africa the Lord kept leading me to Jer. 29:10-14. For me it was the Lord sending me back to the states. I've had lots of questions since being back...why am I still in Birmingham, why am I injured and not able go and do like I thought I would, why am I not able to get a job where I can grow and continue to be molded. I don't like admitting that I have those questions and haven't trusted more...I'm working through that. I know the Lord is continuing to mold my story, crazy stuff like this does not happen for no reason.

My friends told me about a blog yesterday that has sent me to my knees today. I don't know this girl but its you know a friend of a friend of a friend. The address is www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com. I haven't gotten to the whole story, there are lots of blogs ha but from what I've read it looks like she is in Uganda fostering orphans. This is the real deal...I can truly feel the Lords presence just from reading her blog entries. The Lord spoke to me so clearly in reading her entry from today of just saying I AM working and I AM faithful and just be still, know that I AM.

I loved what she wrote in one of her entries in which she was addressing some questions that her readers had:
"As a young single woman, don't you think living in Africa is dangerous? Are you afraid?"
I am more afraid of America. Matthew 10:28 tells us not to fear things that can destroy the body but to fear things that can destroy the soul. I can literally feel my soul suffocating in the safety of Brentwood and all it's numbness, complacency and comfort. Scary.

While that may have been a blunt way of putting it, I know what she means. I very much so struggle with the fear of becoming numb and complacent. Don't get me wrong I love Birmingham and the community I have here but I just fear that it is too comfortable for me and therefor I often feel very uneasy here. So that is where I have to sit in the Lords presence because its easy for me to get discouraged now knowing that there is something wrong which means medical bills and being here until I can get healing and released to GO and do. I also know that I need a job with full time benefits...I have to get past the feeling of being trapped and just know that it is a need that I have right now. I know that HE will provide the finances I need to get through this, HE always has.

I'm really not sure anyone is reading this anymore but that is totally fine, it is an outlet for me to get my thoughts out. If you do happen to read this I ask for prayer, prayer and more prayer. The last thing I want is the devil to creep in as I walk through this journey, please join me in praying against that.

I hope that you feel the LORDS presence today...there is nothing sweeter.

Sorry I've been a little absent...

I have to confess that I haven't posted in awhile because I feel like there is no news. Then I was talking to Space tonight and got convicted because there is stuff happening just not what I "think" you want to hear...lay down your pride Amber. I must admit I have missed blogging about 'real' things...so here we go.

I am currently living at home in AL. I am working part time at my old job just helping them with qualifying the database and some bookkeeping things. I had an opportunity to take a job in TX but turned it down. So that's kind of the rundown of where I have been and what I have been doing for the past couple of months.

Space and I were talking about the 'holding pattern' that I am in right now and how there are things to be learned during this. Its like I know that but it didn't start to sink in until probably last week. I don't know if you have seen the movie Definitely Maybe but the main guy in it moves to NY to work for Clinton and in his old job he wrote speeches for a local Senator and such. So when he is in NY stapling signs or delivering toilet paper to the bathroom he screams WHAT AM I DOING. I have had that thought a lot over the past couple of weeks. Then I was reading someones blog and they were describing how humble this man was and I thought I know that's what I should be learning but....WAIT yes that is exactly what I should be learning. It hit me that why do I think I am above qualifying a database or calling a person for being past due on their bill...what makes me better than that?

I was also listening to Wess Stafford, pres. of Compassion International, speak last week and he was talking about how this earth is not our home so don't settle in so much. That may not say much to you but it spoke volumes to me, something about it hit my soul. I have really struggled with settling in and just being lazy since I have been back. I hate that...why is it so hard to be back in the states? You have to be so intentional about listening and making time and not just filling your time with things that are 'appealing' and 'easy'.

I know the 'holding pattern' is intentional. It is extremely hard for me because of how I learned things in Africa is totally different from how I am learning them here. This is where faith really steps in and I have to remember where He has brought me and where He is taking me.

What you've been waiting for...

A little entertainment for Alfie and Nondu


Mamelodi Camp...Lift Jesus Higher


Mamelodi Camp...Our translators singing I believe in Jesus


The next 2 are ladies from one of the communities that we did the medical clinic in. Watch the lady in the black hat and jacket on the right...she is crazy. If you get next to her when she's dancing you better watch out she will booty bump you!



A little Oh lay lay with Drew

Unpacking

I landed on US soil Friday, the 29th. I have been "unpacking", processing and visiting friends. Its good but very weird to be back in the states. I have loved catching up with everyone and hearing what's new and what the Lord is doing in their lives. There are also a lot of hard things when you have come from a journey like this. A lot of people say why you were just gone for 3 months, but the Lord can do a lot in 3 months when He takes you away from all that is familiar. I will forever look back on this journey and see LIFE CHANGE.

On to the unpacking...what did I learn from this part of my journey?

-I learned that the Lord had to take me all the way out to Africa to restore my soul and self doubt. To quote Captivating "We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted. God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going."

-I learned about not living with an "agenda". I noticed that when I talk to people that I am always thinking about how they are perceiving what I am saying or I'm thinking about the next person I'm going to talk to or what I'm going to do next. Why can't I just sit there and really listen to that person and not worry about what is next. The person that is in front of me at that very moment is the most important person and nothing else matters, who cares if I miss something...the Lord has me in front of that person for His purpose at that very moment.

-Talking about agenda brings me to being on a journey. I am on a journey not constantly seeking the next thing. Journey brings trust in Him. If I am constantly thinking about what is next I miss that very thing right in front of me. Jesus knows our journey so is it really healthy to sit around and think about every next move? I even had my journey in Africa planned out before I left as to how I thought it would all go down. YEAH RIGHT. The Lord said yep you thought you were here just for the orphans...I'm going to put you in a house FULL of college girls and ROCK you. That He did...THANK YOU LORD. He knows me much better than I do :)

-I thought my gifting was in administration and the LORD broke me of that. I realized it was something I hid behind because I was scared to fully walk in my gifts. I know that seems strange why would you be scared of that...but I struggle with fear, fear of letting people down, of not being who I thought I was. I was broken of that daily. There is so much freedom found in that breaking.

-I found it very hard to be in worship this Sunday. I have seen the Lord first hand change lives and heal people. How can we not jump up and down excited about singing about our Jesus? It made me fear that people around me were sitting in a place of comfort because like me they feared in stepping out to be who Jesus is truly calling them to be. I never realized what a box and small story I lived in until I got outside of myself.

-It is a daily struggle for me to think about buying a car, getting a job and finding a place to live. Not because those things aren't good but I fear of walking back into my smaller story. I don't want this next journey to be about me, I want it to be about finding the identity that my Jesus has created for me. I feel like my story is very different and I don't want to settle for less. So my constant prayer is that I am continuing to hear Him amongst the noise and distractions of the states.

-I feel very called to minister to college age girls. That is when they are going through change, forming their identity outside of their parents and high school friends, and when they start to learn who they are created to be. I want to see college girls really start to find their giftings and to walk in them. Just think if they could recognize the God given authority that they have...talk about impacting the world!

There you go. These things that I learned in Africa are still things that I am learning. I covet your prayers...please continue to pray that I would continue to listen among the noise of the typical life of an American. Its not that I am coming down on America, well maybe I am :), but I just desire to continue to live outside of who I am supposed to be. I have experienced life change and I do not want to go back. I don't know what is next. I have applied for a job sort of working with college students. Honestly its a little hard for me to sit here in the states right now, so maybe an opportunity will come for me to go out again. If you have suggestions I welcome them.

Thank you for your support of my time over there. I hope to upload videos soon. I posted some albums on Facebook, here are the links:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2010505&l=364c3&id=1005090795

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2010478&l=b7a16&id=1005090795

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2010482&l=cec57&id=1005090795

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2010485&l=c1ae3&id=1005090795

Medical Team

So the medical team from Brookhills was with us last week. They were aaamazing. It was a mixture of young and older, just pretty much any stage of like over like 21 that you could think of. This made for a really great team. The devil was aware of this great team and was already scheming from the day they arrived. They came in on a Saturday night and one of the guys that works at the place I am staying was driving a lot of their luggage separately in his truck. Well he was on the road home and a car bumped him. So Hugo pulled over and got hit over the head with a gun and thrown in the back of his truck. He had been gone for quite some time and was not answering his phone so we were worried and praying by now. Then the guys stopped the truck and threw him out the back, he then proceeded to walk home. They stole his truck and all the luggage in the back, which was pretty much everyones personal luggage. Thankfully it was a medical team that we had there and they stitched his head up.

This did not stop the team. We were so thankful Hugo was alive after that. Then I ended up getting sick with a sinus infection or something almost all week. I did not get to go out with them until Mon. and then I was out for two days, then back out on Thursday and Friday. I was so disappointed, but so thankful that I finally got well enough to go out with them. The impact that a medical team can have is unbelievable. I mean I saw a baby come in that probably would have been dead the next day and they gave it an IV and brought her back to life. I heard doctors sharing the gospel with their patients. I was just amazed and thankful to be a part of it!

Here are some pics from the week:

Still alive...

I apologize I have not been on the internet in forever. We have been sort of recovering from camp. We finished camp about two weeks ago and then had another group come in for two weeks just to do mission work around the area. All of the interns that I lived and worked with have all gone home now. So I am here getting ready for a medical team that we have coming in a little over a week. Then I will have a little over a week and return to the states on the 28th.

One quick story from our last week of camp. We had this kid that came and clearly had something wrong with this waste area and was quite smaller than the kids his age. This did not stop him. He was the most precious kid I have ever seen and just lived life not worried about his disability. His leader found out about mid week that the name he was given meant 'waste'. His leader knew that he had to give him a new name and tell him that Jesus did not think of him this way. So he sat with translators to figure out a new name for him, and they came up with a name that meant 'joy'. This kid also accepted Christ that day, it was the most beautiful picture of Christs love I have ever seen. Here is a pic of him and his leader:


I have learned so much about myself while being here. The Lord has really put a place in my heart for college age girls so I am just processing what that looks like right now. I am exploring job options and such for after August. So please continue to pray with me as I look into what is next. One day at a time...

cheers to liquifruit...

Lately...

I apologize for the lack of posts. Getting the internet during camp time is quite challenging. We are now in our second and last week of camp. Last week was great. We had about 500 kids in a very poor township named Mamelodi. That is where I did camp last year so I was some what familiar with it. One interesting thing is that we have to have translators at this camp and we ended up getting a lot of them from a local high school. There were some that where not saved, so there they are translating the stories and the Lord really started working in some of their hearts. So not only was it for the kids, we really saw the Lord move in the translators lives, really cool.

This week we are in a nice school, we meet in an auditorium, we have power. Very different from last week. This week a lot of the kids know the story of salvation and almost all speak English. So this is more of a discipleship opportunity.

We have had really great teams come in to help with the camps. Last week we had a group from Savannah come, and they were amazing, Josh Hawk their leader and Audra do a great job with them. They were perfect for the Mamelodi camp. We also had a small group from Brookhills of girls around 26 and one girl come on her own...shout out Mak!

This week we have one from Brookhills, one from Dallas, a group from Hueytown, and a father and daughter from Texas. Love this group as well, they have been a lot of fun to serve with.

I'm learning a lot about myself. I have realized that a lot of times I have just said that administration was my gifting but have never been completely happy or secure in it. One day this past week it was like that is not necessarily my gifting but maybe more so what I hide behind because I am afraid of the unknown. Anyway I'm very thankful to be aware of that and just continuing to learn who the Lord has made and is making me to be.

Its amazing how the Lord knows exactly what you need when you need it. I was so thankful to have a small group of girls come from my home church and they were all around my age! The crazy thing is I had never met any of them, what in the world. I do not know what the Lord is calling me to after this but I am thankful to have those girls in the Ham. The Lord continues to restore me while I'm here and they were just such a breath of fresh air. So shout out to my BHAM girls!


here are some from camp